Spurious Hatred and Something Like Affection
by Dark wolf's last day
Summary: After deciding to hide together after leaving Sootopolis, Archie and Maxie don't fall together; they more like stumble toward each other a few times, say 'forget it', and crash together.
1. Chapter 1

I took a few liberties with Pokemon towns because they're more constructed for gameplay than they are in reference to the fact that they're towns.

* * *

"It might be better to…you know…hide together." Maxie can't stop the small smile from making its way onto his lips.

"And your reasoning would be?" He asks, already knowing that he will tag along with Archie, but wanting to tease him for the sake of it.

"Well, it would be better if—if the police ever found us—they found us together, wouldn't it? It would…" Archie can see Maxie's raised eyebrow and sighs, "Alright, I kind of like you in some completely screwed up way and if I'm going to be on the run I'd rather have some company."

"'On the run'? Really, Archie?"

"Maxie."

"Yes, I'll go with you. Now, let's get out of Sootopolis."

"That will require getting wet, Maxie."

A sigh, "Yes, I know."

* * *

Maxie, Archie, and Archie's Sharpedo burst above the surface as soon as they are out of Sootopolis. Archie usually likes to stay underwater longer, but, for Maxie's sake, he decided not to.

The expression on Maxie's face in response to being soaked is kind of priceless, though.

"Alright, Maxie?"

"What do you think?"

Archie laughs and urges his Sharpedo forward.

"Where are we going after we return the orbs?"

"I don't quite know yet."

"I like Lavaridge." Archie doesn't justify the comment with a response.

"I was thinking either Dewford, Slateport, or Lilycove. Because they're _on_ the water, but not _in _the water."

"Dewford is an island!"

"Yeah, but it's not like…oh whatever. Do you want to pick, your highness? This is my Sharpedo, I could very well take us to Pacifidlog."

"I could steer this Sharpedo," Maxie says just to argue.

"With your dainty, little hands? Yeah, right." Archie makes a point of flashing his calloused hands at Maxie.

"Isn't Slateport where you and the rest of Team Aqua stole all that stuff, though?"

"Good point. A lot of tourists come by Lilycove, so we'd probably look less suspicious there. Though, the Team Aqua base was there, but it's been sealed off, so I think that'll be fine…."

"So, Lilycove?"

"Lilycove for now, I'd say." Archie steers Sharpedo in the direction of Mt. Pyre, keeping their choice of Lilycove in mind.

—

Coming into Lilycove looking considerably ragged and wearing clothing typical of members of Team Aqua and Team Magma is probably really suspicious. Fortunately, it's night by the time Archie and Maxie get there; therefore, there aren't many people wandering around Lilycove. Archie and Maxie give their Crobats a pat on the head and then call them him back into their respective pokeballs.

"We have to do something about our outfits."

"Such as?"

Maxie yanks Archie's bandana off of his head, ignoring the, "Hey!" that he lets out. Before Archie has the chance to protest any further, Maxie takes off his necklace as well.

"There. Now you look…less suspicious."

"And what about you?" Archie asks, still a little annoyed at being manhandled. Maxie takes off his coat and frowns at it.

"You can stuff your bandana and your necklace into your pockets, but I can't exactly do that with my coat…."

"Just turn it inside out and fold it up. I doubt the person working at the register is going to be paying too much attention at this late hour." Looking moderately scandalized, Maxie does.

When Archie and Maxie make it to the Cove Lily Motel, the receptionist is tapping her fingernails against the counter and looks dangerously close to falling asleep. She doesn't even notice that Maxie and Archie came in until Maxie clears his throat. She jerks upwards and stares at Archie and Maxie with wide eyes.

For a moment, Archie and Maxie think she recognizes them, and then, "Oh, I'm _so_ sorry! With the whole Team Aqua and Team Magma business, we haven't been getting…well, _any_ customers, and I work so late, and…."

"It's fine," Archie says, and Maxie briefly side eyes him, "working late is difficult." The receptionist sighs in relief.

"Oh, good. What kind of room would you like, sirs?"

"One with two queen beds would be nice." The girl hands them the keys to the room and they pay her. She does look a little confused at the wet and then dried again money, but she says nothing.

—

"I'm taking a shower first," Maxie says the moment they step into the room, and that's that. Archie sits down on one of the beds and turns on the news. It's 3 AM, but they're showing an earlier news broadcast again. Archie is fairly surprised to see a woman holding a microphone out to May.

_"How do you feel about Team Aqua and Team Magma now that they have gone through with their plans and you have helped stop them?"_

_ "I like them, actually. Their plans may have been…extreme, but I never detected any sort of animosity from either of them. They also seemed to be genuinely sorry about everything that happened. And even when I was trying to stop them, I always thought that they were interesting people."_

_ "I see…. So, then, how do you feel about the fact that the police are looking for Archie and Maxie?"_

_ "Well, I mean…I think they've learned their lesson. I understand that they've committed crimes, but I really believe that they won't commit any more. I hope they're alright, wherever they are."_ May glances toward the camera, and the knowledge that Archie has that May is _smart_ is established once more. He smiles, though, happy that she harbors no ill-will towards himself or Maxie.

The news broadcast continues to talk about Team Aqua, Team Magma, what they had done, and the police's plan on dealing with them. Archie watches with firmly set lips until Maxie comes out of the bathroom.

"Was that May's voice I heard earlier?" He asks, towel on his head. Archie resists the urge to laugh at him.

"Yeah, it was. She's a good kid." Archie gets up to go into the bathroom.

"What did she say?"

"She doesn't hate us. In fact, she _likes_ us. She thinks we're interesting people."

"Well, that's good, I suppose."

"Oh, shut up. You like that girl just as much as I do." Archie leaves no room for Maxie to argue because he walks into the bathroom as soon as he finishes his sentence, but Maxie hadn't been planning on arguing anyway.

—

"We need a plan," Maxie says as he shakes Archie awake.

"What? What…what time 's it?" Archie looks over at the clock and groans when he sees that it's 10 AM. "Less than eight hours of sleep!"

"Shut up, Archie. We need a plan."

"What?"

"We have to get new clothes and," Maxie sighs, "I probably need to do something about my hair too."

"S' long 's you do the talking..." Maxie rolls his eyes.

They buy clothes from the department store. Maxie is decisively uncomfortable wearing blue jeans.

"You are the most uptight person I have ever met," Archie tells him.

"And _you_ are the most infuriating person I have ever met."

"You agreed to come along with me."

"Yes, and you were about two steps away from begging me to."

"Maybe I was." Maxie's face turns red, and Archie snickers. "Now, are you gonna get that hair cut or what?" Maxie sighs.

"I suppose so." They walk from the motel back to the department store again. Archie wanders around the store while Maxie gets his hair cut.

While waiting, Archie wanders into a pokedoll store. He buys a Sharpedo and Camerupt doll; he admits that it's kind of stupid, but it's kind of cute too. Hurried steps come up behind him a few minutes after he leaves the pokedoll store, and he turns to see Maxie coming up toward him, his hair cut extremely short.

"I couldn't exactly call your name in such a public location. Also, why do you have two pokedolls?"

"Um. I liked them. I bought them."

"You are _ridiculous_."

"Your hair is ridiculous."

"I'll give you that." The two of them walk out of the store without any further conversation. Archie wanders off to the beach, and Maxie follows, looking a little ruffled at the prospect of being so close to the ocean. The beach is warm, though, so Maxie sits down and digs his feet into the sand.

"You're going to get those pokedolls dirty." Archie shrugs, then hands Maxie the Camerupt doll.

"Did you get this for me?"

"No." Maxie smiles and tries to hide it in the doll anyway.

The two of them sit on the beach for a while, watching the waves crash against the shore. Archie nearly falls asleep with his feet in the water and his elbows placed neatly on his knees. This state of almost-sleep is taken away from him when Maxie says, softly, "We really do need a plan, though, Archie."

"Let's just stay on the beach forever. Sharpedo could hang out in the water, Camerupt could sunbathe on the sand, our Crobats could fly around wherever they wanted, and our Mightyenas could play with each other in the sand or in the water, wherever they chose."

"Lovely fantasy, Archie," Maxie says, a twinge of annoyance in his voice, "but I'm afraid life cannot be sustained on just beaches and water alone, as you and the rest of Team Aqua seemed adamant on believing."

"Look at Pacifidlog!"

"Pacifidlog gets _constant_ imports from other parts of Hoenn and hardly anyone is altogether bizarre enough to live there." Archie huffs. "We need a house, for starters; we can't stay at the motel forever. And, then, we also need a plan in case the police come by."

"Flying away on our Crobats?"

"That's actually not a bad idea. Now, about the house…."

"I saw one for rent. I thought it looked nice. I guess we do need a way to make money, though…. I could work by the harbor! I'm sure they need ship cleaners and such."

"I could work at the conest hall." Archie gives him a look. "What? Don't even try to tell me that you don't adore them as well." Archie doesn't respond to that.

"So, do we have the precious _plan_ that you've been bugging me about all day?" Maxie makes an irritated, noncommittal sound.

* * *

The little house they rent is close to the beach. Everything is close to the beach in Lilycove, but this house more so than a lot of other things in the town. Maxie dyes his hair (Archie seems a little petulant for a day or two, even though it was his suggestion), Archie shaves his beard (Maxie seems a little petulant for a day or two, even though it was his suggestion), and they both get the jobs that they had talked about.

Maxie will have to admit, too, that he likes their house a lot, even though it is so close to the sea. He would never vocalize that to Archie, though.

Archie and Maxie are finally settling into their house; Maxie thinks that their lives are starting to calm down, when….

"Maxie, come in here!"

"What, Archie?" Maxie asks, though his question is easily answered when he steps into the room. A beaming May is on the screen, being interviewed yet again, though this time it is for a reason entirely different.

_"…don't want to sound cocky! I am really happy, though. Gosh, I can't stop smiling!"_

_ "You don't sound cocky at all! You worked hard and now you've beaten the Champion. It must be a great feeling!"_

_ "Oh, it is. When I got my first pokemon, Swampert—at the time Mudkip—, I never ever thought I would end up here. I never even thought about it! I was just happy to be out with my pokemon."_

_ "I think it's safe to say you've gotten pretty far, May. You're an inspiration all around the Hoenn region. Do you feel like anything's changed for you since you got all of this attention?" _

_ "Well, yes! It is a little bit intimidating, having everyone know exactly who you are on sight. But, all of the attention I've gotten so far is mainly very, very positive, and it's…it's flattering! A bit overwhelming, though."_

_ "What did you do when you first left the Pokemon League after defeating the champion?"_

_ "I got on my Swellow and I flew home."_

_ "How did your parents react?"_

_ "My mom gave me the tightest hug you could imagine, and after we called my dad at his gym, he cried and came home early to congratulate me!"_

Archie and Maxie are silent for a while. "She beat the champion." A statement.

"I'm proud of her."

"I can't say I'm surprised at all, though. That girl is light years ahead of everyone else in Hoenn in regards to pretty much everything."

"I can't help but to think May has a few surprises still up her sleeve, though."

"The horrible thing, Archie, is that you're probably right."

—

May _does_ have more surprises up her sleeve. She goes through the thought process that Maxie and Archie went through when they were trying to pick a place to stay, and she flies to Lilycove. She really doesn't mind it, anyway; she loves the contest hall. All she has to do now that she's here is go door to door.

Archie and Maxie's house is actually the last one she checks, since she figures Maxie would have objected to being so close to water. At this point, she's second guessing herself and considers not knocking on the door at all. But, she does, which is a good thing.

Archie opens the door, and for a while, he and May just stare at each other, not saying anything. "I, um…I didn't think you'd be so close to the water. Is Maxie even with y—"

"Is that _May_?" Maxie asks, coming to the door. "Oh. It _is_ May. Hello, May." May laughs a little.

"You know, I came here hoping to see you two and now that I have I don't know what to say."

"Well, why don't you come inside? You'll attract attention to us, anyway. And, Archie, don't be rude, say something to May!" Maxie nudges Archie out of the way and shuts the door behind May. May glances around the house and smiles to herself. It's very fitting for them.

"It's nice to see you, May," Archie says, seeming to have regained control of his voice.

"So, I guess you guys have been doing well." Maxie ushers May over to the couch and sits in one of the chairs across from her. Archie takes the other chair, and their two Mightyenas hop up on the couch beside May. Maxie opens his mouth to say that he can get them off the couch if they bother her, but May starts to scratch at their ears almost immediately, and the words are lost on Maxie's tongue.

"We've been doing about as well as two guys on the run can do. Did our new looks surprise you?" As he says this, Archie rubs at his cheeks.

"A little bit. I don't think I would have for sure known it was you if you hadn't acted so surprised, Archie!" May and Archie laugh.

"It's not every day the current champion and former thwarter of your plans comes to your doorstep, you know?" Maxie says, fiddling with his hands.

"Don't listen to Maxie. He's just upset because he likes you against his will." Maxie sends Archie a look. While this happens, May glances between the two of them and sees something that they don't yet see. A smile twitches at the corners of May's lips.

May leans further back into the couch and asks, "Do you think Shelly, Courtney, Matt, and Tabitha would be scandalized if they knew that you two were living together?" Archie and Maxie look at each other, and, then, together, they say,

"Probably."

Maxie gets up and walks toward the kitchen. "Would you like anything, May?" He asks.

"Um…if I could just have some water, that'd be great."

"How come you didn't ask me if I wanted anything?"

"If you want anything, you can just come in here and get it yourself." Archie grumbles something under his breath. May giggles and takes the water bottle Maxie hands her when he walks back into the room.

May sips on her water for a while in silence, occasionally stopping her petting of the Mightyenas' ears only to start again at an insistent snout pushing against her palm.

"How's that Swampert of yours?" Archie asks.

"He's good!"

"Are you still stopping ne'er-do-wells while surfing the oceans on his back?" May laughs so hard that she screws the cap back onto her water in fear of spilling it.

"No. Though, I'm sure he'd be more ready than ever if we still were." May glances at the clock on the wall and frowns a little. "Oh! I wish I could stay longer, but if I don't leave now I'll be home a bit later than I'd like to be…."

"That's fine, then," Maxie whisks the water bottle away from May, takes it into the kitchen, and then comes back into the living room, "it was…nice to see you, though, May."

"Come back whenever! It was great to see you!" May smiles a little at the contrast between Archie and Maxie's expression of sentiments.

With a few more goodbyes, May walks outside and flies away on her Swellow. Archie hits Maxie on the shoulder.

"I don't see why you have to be like that."

"Like what?"

"All standoffish and Maxieish."

"Maxieish?"

"Yes." Maxie sighs; he learned a very long time ago that Archie and logical reasoning don't tend to go together.


	2. Chapter 2

People in Lilycove have always looked at them a second or two longer than standard when glancing in their direction. Even when attempting to masquerade as regular citizens, Archie and Maxie just look…different, and they always will. Still, the more time passes, the longer those glances seem to be, and some people are starting to look even a little bit uneasy when they see Archie and Maxie.

It doesn't help that tourists had started coming back to Lilycove a long time ago, and now that Christmas is fast approaching even more people are starting to do so. However, this holiday _does_ give Archie and Maxie some time off of work, which gives Maxie time to think, as he abhors going out into the cold of December.

Archie comes home after taking a walk (Archie, unlike Maxie, _likes_ cold weather, and Maxie can't understand that at all), and Maxie says it with no warning.

"Archie, we're going to Lavaridge."

"_We_?"

"Yes. _We_ are going to Lavaridge for a few days while we are on vacation after _we_ have been working in Lilycove for a while."

"Maxie, I _hate_ Lavaridge."

"Do I seem like I am the happiest person in the world living in Lilycove? I'll go alone if you really don't want to go so much, but I do quite think that we arch enemies are living together for a reason. A reason that may have been a suggestion from a certain former sailor."

"You're _actually_ trying to bully me into going to Lavaridge with you."

"Whatever you decide to do I'm leaving tomorrow morning."

"We've changed a whole lot, haven't we?" It isn't a clear yes or no from Archie, but it is a bit of a heavy statement, and Maxie makes no indication that he even heard it, though Archie knows that he had.

Archie goes to Lavaridge with Maxie. They fly there together on their Crobats, and Archie wears an expression similar to the one Archie wore when they had to dive while riding on Sharpedo.

"Before you go rushing off to the Hot Springs," Archie says when Maxie immediately turns his head in that direction when their Crobats touch the ground, "let's get a room at the inn, okay?" Maxie grumbles, but knows that Archie is being reasonable for once.

Maxie is impatient the entire time they check themselves into the inn. Maxie goes to the Hot Springs immediately after, and Archie is left to throw their bags into their room. For a reason he can't quite decipher even in his own mind, Archie decides to go to the Hot Springs as well.

When Archie makes it to the Hot Springs, Maxie is sitting in the water, his eyes shut and his cheeks and nose tinted red from the cold air. It's cute. Maxie would protest heavily if he were aware of that thought, but he isn't, so Archie is free to think it. And, really, when has Maxie protesting ever stopped Archie from doing something?

"Did you scare everyone away, Maxie?" Maxie opens one of his eyes for a second and then shuts it again.

"It's late, and it's close to Christmas. People have things to do."

Archie sits across from Maxie and lets himself relax. It's nice, as much as he hates to admit it. His eyes fall slowly, slowly closed. Time slips away from him, and it seems like he's only just shut his eyes when Maxie says, "I can see that you absolutely despise Lavaridge so far." He has a good portion of his face underwater, and the steam further aids in masking Maxie's expression, but Archie knows that he must be giving him an extremely smug look.

"It's absolutely horrible," Archie says, moving himself to the side of Maxie and leaning his head on his shoulder in some sort of attempt at payback.

"Get off me, Archie," Maxie says, but he makes no sort of effort to push Archie away.

The fairly dim lights around the Hot Springs along with the clear, starry sky and the chilly air create a scene that just touches on romantic. It really doesn't help that Archie is leaning his head on Maxie's shoulder either. There is a very small sound of water moving as Maxie pulls all of his head out of the water again. Maxie shuffles so that he's facing Archie.

"If I kissed you right now, how much of a problem would you have with it?"

And with that question, Maxie has done the impossible; he has rendered loud-mouthed Archie speechless. Because it's _Maxie_, who tries to give off the impression that he feels no emotions, asking him this. And, then, because Archie can't get his throat to work right, he simply grabs Maxie's face and kisses him instead.

"I hate you so fucking much, Maxie," Archie says.

"I feel exactly the same way." Maxie pulls Archie back into the kiss, and by the time they stop to breathe their lips are torn up and bloody.

"Any particular reason we didn't get our heads out of our asses sooner?" Archie asks.

"Archie, we awoke two legendary monsters for some stupid plans we had that would have majorly fucked up the ecosystem even if they had worked, and you're asking me why _we_ didn't get our heads out of our asses sooner?"

"You're terrible, and I want to kiss you just as much as I want to throw you into the ocean and watch you drown." Archie settles for kissing him.

* * *

Archie hates himself for it, but he actually likes Lavaridge. In the winter at least. The Hot Springs are nice, it's not a bad town overall, and…Maxie seems happy. Though, if one were to ask Archie about it, that thought never crossed his mind. Ever. That thought never even came into the same realm as his train of thought.

And, really, nothing has changed between them aside from the fact that they kiss each other now and sometimes their fingers wander.

But, also, aside from everything, Christmas is in two days, and Archie has a _wonderful_ idea.

Archie gets a moment away from Maxie (and really how completely okay he is with spending so much time with Maxie should probably bother him a lot more than it does), and he walks to the house of the people that he has seen in the newspaper selling a Vulpix egg that was due for today. He knocks on the door, and he is greeted by a woman holding an egg and a Ninetales watching him from behind her.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" She asks.

"Yeah, I was wondering if that Vulpix egg was still for sale." Archie is stuck by how incredibly _domestic_ this is, buying a Vulpix egg for Maxie, but he can't exactly turn and walk around now.

"Oh, yes! I was worried we'd have another Vulpix running around since no one ever called in about it…." Archie buys the egg, and somehow feels like he's taken a giant leap. He brings the egg back to the hotel, and though he had planned on hiding it before he actually had it in his arms, he now knows that that's not going to happen.

Archie hopes Maxie likes the damn thing.

—

"Did you not come to the Hot Springs with me for a reason, or—" Maxie stops, shuts the door behind him gently. "You have an egg."

"Yeah."

"Are you going to tell me _why_ you have an egg?"

"It was gonna be…" Archie's idea sounds a whole lot more embarrassing now that he's saying it out loud, "a…Christmas present. For you. But I got it a little early. So." Maxie smiles and walks over to sit beside Archie on the bed, gently taking the egg from him.

"What kind of Pokemon is it?"

"A Vulpix." Maxie's grin grows larger. Archie pretends that he doesn't notice it.

"Thank you. I actually have something for you, too. I was going to wait until Christmas, but since you got me mine now…." Maxie digs down into the bottom of the bag he brought along and brings out a bandana with Sharpedos on it.

"Aw, Maxie." Archie takes it and ties it around his head. "Thanks." He puts a hand to his forehead dramatically and says, "You're too sweet to me." Maxie rolls his eyes.

"Oh, please. You got me a Vulpix egg for Pete's sake." Maxie runs his hands along the egg as he says this.

"If we turn into one of those mushy old couples in thirty years or so please throw me into Mt. Chimney."

"I'll probably just do that anyway."

"Good."

They sleep in the same bed that night and for the rest of the nights they stay in Lavaridge.


	3. Chapter 3

Maxie treats the Vulpix egg like it's his child. He carries it around with him everywhere and goes through special measures to make sure that it's warm and safe. Archie is stuck between thinking it's disgustingly adorable and being jealous that Maxie gives it more attention than him.

Archie can't tell if it's better or worse after the Vulpix hatches.

Maxie calls her Vee, and all of Maxie and Archie's other pokemon fall in love with her immediately. The Mightyenas will curl up on the couch with her, the Crobats will fly alongside her when she runs around outside, Maxie's Camerupt will blow smoke and small tendrils of flame into their air with her, and on the few occasions when Archie's Sharpedo and Vee see each other, Vee will run around in the sand, making noises at Sharpedo and seemingly trying to get him up onto land with her.

There is also a picture of Archie asleep with Vee settled down onto his stomach; Maxie constantly torments Archie with it. Eventually, Archie sighs and admits that he does like the little Vulpix.

"Well, you _did_ get her for me, after all," Maxie says, passing by Archie with Vee in his arms, giving him a quick kiss before continuing on his way.

"Maxie, we are _so_ domestic," Archie says, looking affronted.

"Should I throw you into Mt. Chimney now?"

"As long as I can throw you into the ocean first." Maxie sets Vee down and kisses Archie roughly, pushing him back against the nearest steady surface. Their tongues glide together for a while, then Maxie pulls away with a smirk.

"I don't think throwing me into the ocean would be very beneficial to you," He says, sliding a hand over Archie's crotch.

"I have a perfectly functional right hand," Archie says just to argue.

"Alright, then." Maxie picks Vee up again and leaves the room. Archie slaps his hand against his forehead. _Fucking Maxie._

* * *

Maxie is a whole lot less bothered by the concept of domesticity than Archie is, and, somehow, he drags Archie down with him. Maxie is the one who introduces Archie to crossword puzzles and those, Archie thinks, are his undoing.

He's doing one when May comes in to visit for the second time. Maxie is knitting with his fuzzy socks in Archie's lap, while Vee and their two Mightyenas lie on the ground in front of them, and the minute there is a knock at the door is approximately the moment when Archie knows that he's fucked. He gets up and opens the door for May, knowing that now is not a good time to have a crisis.

"I hope now is a good time to visit!" May says with a smile.

"It's been months since you came to see us last!" Archie says, feigning offense.

"Sorry," May says sincerely, and Archie wonders where she learned to be so charming.

"Invite her inside, Archie!"

"Yeah, yeah Maxie. Come on in, May." Archie can see that May is analyzing the situation very carefully, so to make things easier for her he kisses Maxie on the cheek in an over exaggerated manner as he walks back to his spot on the couch. "Look up from your knitting for two seconds, buzz kill."

"I would swat at you with one of my knitting needles, but I'm using them."

"I was waiting for you two to realize how stupid your plans were and kiss instead the entire time I was chasing you around Hoenn!" May huffs, crosses her arms, and tosses herself into a chair. "How did it happen?"

"We went to Lavaridge when we had some time off around Christmas, I asked him if how upset he would be if I kissed him when we were sitting in the Hot Springs, and instead of answering me like a normal person, he grabbed my face and kissed me."

"It was anticlimactic, too! You guys are horrible." May's gaze flickers to Maxie's feet, clad in fuzzy socks, sitting in Archie's lap. "Cute, though." Archie covers his face with his hands.

"I was a sailor…I was the leader of a criminal organization…."

"You're a dumbass." May laughs and Archie glares at Maxie.

"Hey, you guys got a Vulpix, too! I just noticed."

"Her name is Vee. She was my Christmas present from Archie." Archie groans and puts his face in his hands again.

"That is _so_ sweet!"

"I told him to throw me into Mt. Chimney if we became one of those mushy couples, but he hasn't yet," Archie says through his hands.

"Yes, well, then, I'd have more work to do around the house."

"You two are so in love it's disgusting." Archie chokes on nothing and Maxie stares very intently down at his knitting materials. Seeing that she's said something that makes Archie and Maxie uncomfortable, May brings up something arbitrary and they talk about it for a while. May leaves after some time, and the house becomes deathly quiet.

—

Archie is the one who freaks out. He spends all day at the beach, and he spends more time than is necessary on the boats that he cleans for work. He thinks about stealing one and sailing off to Pacifidlog, but he knows that if he really wanted to do that he would have just gotten onto his Sharpedo and went there ages ago. Right now, he mainly just wants to hide and not talk to anyone. Fortree might be a good place to do that, with all the tall grass around it….

Fortree is kind of far away, though, and he doesn't want to leave, so he settles for lying on the beach for hours at a time.

The third day in a row that Archie does this, Maxie resolves to put a stop to it. He goes out to the beach, walks up to where Archie is lying as quietly as he can, and kicks sand onto his face.

"Ah! Arceus, Maxie, what the fuck?"

"What the fuck? You're asking _me_ what the fuck?" Maxie kicks more sand onto Archie's face, causing him to stand up and glare angrily at Maxie. "You're having some sort of crisis and hiding on the beach and you're asking _me_ what the fuck?"

"I just need…a little time."

"It's been _three days_, Archie. Are you going to tell me what your problem is or not?"

"Probably not."

"I swear, Archie, I will call Camerupt out of his pokeball right now and I will get him to burn you to death."

"Well, I mean, like…it's stupid; I don't even know what my problem is." Maxie is looking at him like he might burn him to death himself, so Archie tries to explain anyway, "It's not like I don't like you, Maxie, I do, a whole lot, and that's kind of what my problem is. Like, I would ride you like a rollercoaster, and if it was just that I wouldn't be having a problem—"

"Don't be so _vulgar_, Archie."

"But, I _like_ you, Maxie, and that freaks me out and makes me want to run far, far away because my entire life I've been a sailor or the leader of a criminal organization and a heartbreaker, and among these things, I have never once been domestic and lovey-dovey."

"So what am _I_ supposed to do, Archie? Just sit there while you have a completely ridiculous crisis? You're _not_ a sailor or the leader of Team Aqua anymore. You're just Archie, and I'm just Maxie, and we're just people." Archie bites his lip and looks at the ground for a moment. Then, after an indefinite amount of time of assessing his thoughts, he kisses Maxie and threads his fingers through his hair.

"I'm being stupid."

"You are."

"Tell me I'm being stupid."

"You're being stupid, and I want to slap you."

"I'm gonna get over myself, okay Maxie? I'm gonna try, at least."

"Good." Maxie gives Archie a small peck on the lips that is so underlyingly sweet that it makes Archie feel like running again, but he reigns himself in and scolds himself internally. "May sent us a letter. Would you like to get away from this goddamn beach and read it with me?"

"Yeah. Yeah, let's do that."

There's a fire stone in the letter that May sends them, and it is addressed to 'the two gentlemen' living at their current address. They think it's kind of funny.

_Hey!_

_Sorry that this letter is addressed kind of weird. I don't know what names you two are going by now…. Anyway, I don't know if you guys want to evolve Vee or not, but I got you this fire stone from my friend, Steven Stone, anyway. He asked me why I wanted it so much, but I just told him it was for some friends. He looked like he might question me, but he never did._

_I hope you guys are doing well! Everything down here in Littleroot is fine._

_ Love, May_

Archie and Maxie write a letter back to her together.

—

The next morning, Archie wakes up with Maxie's elbow wedged uncomfortably into his stomach, and he finds that he doesn't mind much at all.


	4. Chapter 4

Apologies. I was very busy this past week. This chapter is short, but I just wanted you all to have a little something while I get my shit together!

* * *

"Fuck!" Maxie says, standing up and pacing around the room while running his hands through his hair. Things had been too good for too long, and, oh, he should have _known_ something like this was going to happen.

"What's going on?" Archie asks, sticking his head into the room.

"Look at the screen you dumbass! Courtney, Tabitha, Shelly, and Matt have all been caught!"

"_All_ of them?"

"Yes! Look!"

Pictures of Courtney, Tabitha, Shelly, and Matt flash up on the screen while the news reporter talks about their arrest. Apparently, the two admins from each team had been hiding together, and when the four of them saw each other in the same town, they caused a scene. It's almost funny. Almost.

"We're just as stupid as they are too! We're hiding together! The police are going to find us soon enough. Oh, I _knew_ this was a bad idea!"

"Are you saying you don't want to hide with me anymore?"

"Archie, this is _not_ the time!" Maxie lets out a mix of a groan and a sigh, throwing himself back onto the couch.

"Calm down, Maxie, it's not like _we're_ causing any scenes."

"The entire reason that we went to Lavaridge, Archie, was because people were looking at us strangely."

"Not the _entire_ reas—"

"Shut up! I'm worried, and I don't want you trying to reassure me!" Archie gives Maxie the look of a lifetime but says nothing further. Both of them frown.

* * *

It is one morning, a week or two later, that Maxie is awoken by the sound of footsteps and voices; Archie, being one of the heaviest sleepers of all time, sleeps on, but Maxie gets out of bed and peeks out of the window in their house closest to the sounds. Outside, there are police officers, wandering towards where Team Aqua's secret base once was. Maxie cracks the window open ever so slightly so he can hear what they are saying.

"…don't see why they wanted us to come out here. Shelly and Matt said that the base was closed off!"

"There could be information as to where Archie is."

"Like what? A bunch of rocks and salt water?"

"We can ask the residents of Lilycove as well, you know."

Maxie curses under his breath. They _have_ to get out of Lilycove.

Maxie pushes at Archie until he wakes up. "Maxie," he says groggily, "you wake me up like this _far_ too much."

"I've woken you up like this _twice_," Maxie says quickly, "and this is important. There are police officers looking for us outside."

"What?"

"Yes! Now, get up." Archie does, reluctantly.

"We need to leave Lilycove. For a while, at least."

"Maxie, we'll get fired if we just up and leave unannounced."

"Fuck. How do we tell our bosses that we're leaving for a while without the police seeing us though? Or the police giving our bosses pictures of us so they can look for us and putting two and two together?"

"I'm too tired for thoughts, Maxie."

"Okay. They just got here. If we go _now_ and are very careful about it, I think we'll be fine."

"It's eight o'clock in the morning on a Saturday!" Maxie ignores him.


	5. Chapter 5

Of course they fight about where they're going, even as they fly around on their Crobats. Archie suggests Pacifidlog town, but Maxie says, _absolutely not, no way,_ and then Archie brings up the fact that _he_ went to Lavaridge with Maxie, so why can't they go to Pacifidlog? Maxie says that it's too small of a town, and that people know Archie there anyway since it's his hometown, and then, their Crobats make squawks of protest, effectively ending the argument. Archie has half a mind to flick his Crobat on the head.

"Why not Fortree?" Maxie suggests, "it's pretty far out in nature, and not _terribly_ small."

"Alright," Archie says. Neither of them are very fond of the town, but it is a good place to hide.

* * *

Archie suggests that they make a secret base just outside of town instead of staying in town. If one were to ask him about it, he'd say it was so the people in town didn't see them very much, and while that is true, it also has a lot to do with the fact that Fortree's architecture makes him uneasy.

Maxie sits down on the dirt floor of their secret base and sighs. "I haven't lived in conditions like this since I was the leader of Team Magma and we were hopping from place to place, trying to avoid the police!"

"That _is_ kind of what we're doing right now."

"Oh, shut up, Archie. We have a house! I'm quite fond of it. I wish the police would leave us alone so we could go back there."

"Once they find out there's nothing in Lilycove, we can."

"Can we, though, Archie? If the police ask the citizens of Lilycove if they've seen us and hold up our pictures, do you think they'll recognize us? And isn't the time that we went on 'vacation' just a _little_ suspicious?" Archie frowns.

"We'll just have to watch TV, then."

"How?"

"I'm sure there are TVs in town." And there are. Archie and Maxie are sure to drop by town when the news is airing every day until they hear news about themselves and what's happening in Lilycove. They only have to wait two days until they do.

On the TV, there's a man standing in Lilycove with a microphone. He's just been cut to from the news station in Rustboro. "Thank you, Polly," he says, "I'm here in Lilycove to give you the most recent updates about the former Team Aqua and Team Magma leaders. The police went around and interviewed some Lilycove citizens, but none of them claimed to know anything about the whereabouts of Archie and Maxie, nor did they claim to have seen them anywhere but on the TV.

"It has come to the attention of the police, as well as us at the broadcasting station, that a couple living here in Lilycove went on a vacation very close to the time of the arrival of the police. Their employers claim that they first applied for jobs at their respective companies shortly after the plans of Team Aqua and Team Magma were foiled and the two leaders of said teams vanished. Police find this to be suspicious. Neighbors of the missing couple in Lilycove also claim to have seen May visiting the couple; police are on their way to Littleroot now to question her about this.

"Police also plan to question the missing couple once they get back from their vacation. More information either later today or tomorrow."

Nobody knows who they are in Fortree, but Archie and Maxie's eyes meet each other when murmurs fill the shop that they're stranding in.

—

"We can't go back to Lilycove," Maxie says once they're back in their secret base, "It's a shame, too. It was very comfortable there."

"I would suggest going to Mossdeep, but it's an island, so I know you wouldn't like that…." Maxie smiles a little.

"I appreciate that, but I do recognize that I can't be picky right now."

"I'm surprised at how quickly you're agreeing to this." Archie puts a hand up to Maxie's forehead, but he slaps it away. "Are you feeling alright, Maxie?"

"Quit being more of an idiot than usual."

"Only when you stop being less of a hard ass than usual." Maxie flicks him on the arm but kisses him on the cheek all the same. "Really, though, I am surprised that you're up for this."

"I'm _tired_, Archie, and I'm not up for it; Team Magma committed some crimes in Mossdeep. What about Fallarbor?" Archie scowls for a moment, then sighs and shakes his head a little.

"I can't be picky either if you're not going to be."

"We can leave tomorrow, after we watch the news in the morning again."

"Okay."

* * *

May lets out a screech while she is watching the news. She normally doesn't watch it anyway, but she heard mentions of Archie and Maxie while her mother was watching it and decided to poke her head in.

It's not exactly the fact that the police are looking for them that has May so worried, but the fact that the police are hot on their trail and May has no idea where they are.

"I'm sure they're fine, May," her mother tells her.

"_Now_, yeah. But I don't even know where they are, and the police are _in_ Lilycove!"

"You didn't know where they were at first when they went to Lilycove either, did you? Things will work out." Still, May worries.


	6. Chapter 6

A few things happen around the same time, though, not all of them are directly related. Lilycove goes into a bit of a crisis when they find out that the two guys that lived in the same town with them turned out to be highly wanted criminals, Archie and Maxie settle themselves down in Fallarbor, and May receives a letter from them telling her that they're alright and in Fallarbor town.

Well, they _were_ in Fallarbor town; they were when they sent May the letter, anyway. They hadn't even moved themselves out of the motel, however, when they had to leave; the commotion in Lilycove about the former Team Aqua and Team Magma leaders living there had spread all over Hoenn. The people of Fallarbor started to give them suspicious and uneasy looks, and, with dual sighs, Archie and Maxie decided that they needed to leave again.

"What now?" Maxie asks in exasperation, "Are we just going to have to live on routes from now on?" It's originally intended as a vexed joke, but shortly after the sentence is said, Maxie realizes that it's not a bad idea at all. Archie knows it, too.

"That's…that's not a bad idea, Maxie."

"Which route are we going to pick?"

And there's something about _this_—picking a route instead of a town—that's new and exhilarating. Archie and Maxie have the same feeling that they did when they first burst out of the sea just outside of Sootopolis and made their plans of where to go. It's refreshing.

"I think route 111 would be nice; the desert is incredibly warm." It's a reference to Maxie's initial suggestion that they go to Lavaridge oh so long ago.

"_I_ would actually like the desert, aside from all of the sand blowing around in the air. _You_ on the other hand, would probably die and become a fossil for future humans or whatever creatures will roam the earth thousands of years from now."

"Suggest an oceanic route, then, we'll be even." Maxie kisses him.

"Let's get serious."

"I don't think I want to," Archie says, kissing at Maxie's neck.

"Keep your dick in your pants for two seconds."

"You and your plans! You never want to do anything else until we have the next thirty years planned out."

"What_ever_, Archie. I know how much you'd love to live amongst Sharpedos if you could." Archie frowns and crosses his arms over his chest.

"How about route 123?"

"That sounds…nice, actually."

* * *

"I'm tired of living in secret bases," Maxie says, running his fingers through the fur of their two Mightyenas, each lying on opposite sides of him, while Vee lies on his chest.

"Would you rather be here or in prison?"

"I _know_ that we are here because of necessity, but nothing you can say can stop me from being embarrassed by having to forage for food and sleep on the floor."

"I could probably build us a house if I had some wood. Though, it would probably just be a little shack."

"Please do."

"Where would I get the wood from? We don't have any money." Maxie huffs but says nothing.

"Do you ever wish you could go back in time and slap yourself?" Maxie makes no attempt to specify what for, but Archie knows exactly what he means.

"Yes." Archie lays down on the floor next to Maxie and one of their Mightyenas. "What a life we've gotten ourselves into!"

"That we have." Maxie leans his head against Archie's. "Do you think May will come and visit us in this little secret base?"

"You know what? I think she will, once she gets our letter."

"She's a much better friend than we deserve."

"Very true," Archie says, kissing Maxie's temple. The only sounds they can hear is the sound of their breathing and the occasional sound of a pokemon outside. They sigh and let their eyelids flutter shut, thinking that, now, finally, they're safe.


	7. Chapter 7

"College?"

"Yeah! In Rustboro."

"I swear you were ten two seconds ago."

"Oh, whatever, Maxie."

Vee, now evolved into a Ninetales, is draped across May's lap. She's a bit too big to be doing it, her many tails hanging off the chair that May is sitting in, but May doesn't mind. Maxie and Archie's secret base has gradually gained more furniture; there's a bed, a refrigerator, a rug, and some chairs in it. It's pretty homely, and though the Berry Master and his wife have discovered them, they say nothing, and Archie, Maxie, the Berry Master, and his wife have a friendly relationship with each other.

"Can someone see how dark it is outside for me? I don't want to disrupt Vee." Archie peaks his head out the door.

"The sun is setting."

"Oh! I really should go, then." May gently shoves Vee off of her, who blows some smoke out of her nose but otherwise does nothing.

"You're going to tell us that you're going to college and then just leave?"

"Yeah. I don't want to get home too late." Maxie hums and shakes his head.

"Go on, then. Say hi to Sharpedo if you pass by the lake before you fly off. Write lots, too!" May smiles as she rises from her chair and walks toward the door.

"I swear you guys have become like…my uncles or something."

"Go before you give me a midlife crisis," Archie says. May smiles and waves, they all say their goodbyes, and then she leaves. Archie picks up his crossword puzzle book again (_yes_, he's still doing them), scribbles a few things in it, and then sets it back down onto his lap. He looks over at Maxie and smiles. "We have a pretty nice life here, Maxie."

"We do, don't we?" Maxie pets one of their Mightyenas' heads then gets up and goes to lie on their bed with Archie. He leans his head against Archie's shoulder and wraps one of his arms around him. Archie puts his pencil in his crossword puzzle book and sets it on the floor next to him, then he settles down and kisses Maxie.

"I love you, you pompous bastard," Archie says.

"I love you too, you coarse pirate," Maxie responds.

"Wanna take a nap together?"

"That would be nice," Maxie says, already beginning to drift off; Archie is close behind him. And, there, the two of them sleep, and they are just fine.


End file.
